Advanced Maternal Age

 I'm getting older. I always thought I would welcome age and in some ways I still do. I'm actually somewhat excited when I spot a "sparkly" hair on my head. My face and hands are aging visibly. I said farewell to my thoughts of ever being my version of beautiful. I'm ok. I consider myself comfortable. Like, I have a face that people are comfortable with but not one that anyone would ever look at and think, "She's really beautiful." You know? And I'm seriously ok with that. I don't need to stand out. I just want to wear cute things that fit me. I want to be able to find just normal things that fit me and don't look terrible. 

In August 2020, I fell and hurt my knee. I thought I had broken my kneecap. I didn't. I just bruised it...like they see in ACL tears. It took about a year to heal. I had had our little guy in April 2020, in my 40s. I was trying to exercise to, at minimum, maintain the weight that I was, but with the hopes of losing some of the excess I had gained. With my injury, homeschooling 4 kids, taking care of a baby, and going to school myself, I just gained more. I am at my heaviest now and I don't have any excuse but that I let myself down. 

I'm working on it. I'm about to hit 45 and I am learning how to cook differently, to eat differently, and to pay attention to what brings me joy and to make some plans for myself. Plans aside from making appointments for the kids and I, the day-to-day chores, schoolwork, parenting, and church calling. 

Anyway, I'm feeling older. And more tired. And more isolated. But more hopeful. And that's where it starts.

Kate

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reverting Back

In 2006, we moved to Hawaii.  I started this blog that year.  I blogged as an outlet and a way to keep in touch with my family across an ocean.  It was far simpler than sending out individual or group emails loaded with as many pictures as emails would allow back then.  I might even still have copies of those emails, tucked away in some folder somewhere.  Blogging became a way for me to make friends, or feel like I had made friends.  I followed other blogs and, occasionally commented...but I’d say odd things.  Not on purpose. The comments make perfect sense to me, because they are coming out of my head and there is a thought pattern or connection.  People that know me would be able to make the connection.  Other bloggers...other people, they don’t know me.  They didn’t know me.  I was just the weirdo making odd comments on a random post.  I lived for comments on mine.  Usually it was my mom, she never missed a post and oft...
Read more

Summer Fade

 Summer is drawing to an end. We have traveled to AZ and UT. Played far too many video games and watched entirely too much TV. Workbooks were provided by myself with incentive to anyone who finished would get a large prize...no takers. No mom school this year...that may be a thing of the past with all these kids growing up.  John announced his retirement for next year and we are on the hunt for a place to finally settle into for next year. Nearer to family sounds great. New England has a lot to offer too. Our money will stretch a lot farther in a LCOL area like Iowa or Ohio. We do love being near the ocean or water and did love Alaska. This is going to be harder than I thought. The kids are going back to school and, since we live in SoCal now, we will continue to experience summer. I'm still not sure what MissFab is doing this year. Star started her Sophomore year of high school and she is nearly a week in. She has changed her schedule and is already ready to be done with scho...
Read more

Nearly 5 weeks...

Image
I've been told I need to update the blog so here are several pictures of little Star. She is now just over 11 lbs. and just shy of 23" long. She is just a bit big. Miss Fabulous was nearly 4 months old before she got as big as our Star! She is fun and really cuddly. She really loves to eat (thus the big size!) and sleep but seems to be wanting to be on the move. John has dubbed her "Scooter" because she is never where we put her. She rolled over from her back to her tummy the other day! Still not great at night...sometime she just wants to be awake, but last night she slept 7 hours straight and I'm hoping its the beginning of a trend! Miss Fabulous just LOVES her little sister and is always trying to help. MF is doing a little better in school with a lot of help from her teacher and some from us at home. We are starting her in a program at school where they help children deal with transition, which seems to be the biggest part of her problem. The progr...
Read more